Monday, March 2, 2009

Day 1: The Shredful Truth

Just when I started to believe that I was going to spend the rest of my life looking like Jabba the Hutt, I saw this post by Kristen Chase of Motherhood Uncensored:

So.

a) Pictures

Front:

How can I wear print pajama bottoms in a bedroom crawling with toile? Which I just decided to call Crawle?

Back:


My attempts to photograph my enormous centaur-like ass


Side:

The side view shows off where I am really just too damned buxom




b) Tagline So far I've got "Get shreddy." Somehow I don't think a career in marketing awaits me.

c) Weight: 191 pounds by the bathroom scale, which, unfortunately, tries to be my friend, and therefore, has been known to be a lying sack of shit.

d) Goal: Clouds-part-and-centaurs-gambol-while-Beethoven-plays Fantasia goal: 150. Regular, attainable, difficult-but-possible goal: 160.

e) Diet Plan: Counting calories. A maximum of 1600 a day.

f) Personal Rules: I've already given up sweets and white wine for Lent. No eating after 8:00, only drink red wine, with a maximum of two glasses a day. No abstaining during the week and then drinking three glasses on Friday night.

g) Shred Plan: I ordered the DVD today, so until it shows up, I'll walk/treadmill and lift some 8-pound weights.


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5 comments:

  1. Redneck MommyMarch 2, 2009 at 8:53 AM

    I like you Buxom. Rawr.

    Plus, I love your friday nite rules. Heh.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Poppy B.March 2, 2009 at 9:12 AM

    I really should have said "not drinking four or five glasses of wine on Friday" but I didn't want to scare anyone.

    I'm envying you your workout program. Lugging new kid/kid equipment around sure beats being yelled at by scary Jillian.

    ReplyDelete
  3. BadgerMarch 4, 2009 at 12:07 PM

    I love how you were very specific with your Lent up-giving. White wine is right out, but all other varieties are okay. Maybe I'll convert to your religion after all.

    However, I have a feeling you're implying that I should NOT celebrate getting back up to 2 miles a day on the treadmill by drinking a pitcher of vodka martinis, and I resent that. What ELSE am I supposed to use for motivation? HUH?

    ReplyDelete
  4. MeredithMarch 4, 2009 at 5:23 PM

    Is it wrong that I am not looking at your "before" and am instead wondering where I can get a patterned carpet like that?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Poppy B.March 9, 2009 at 2:30 PM

    Badger: White wine is so sinful it's yummy. For me, giving up red wine would be like giving up cigar smoking. And I say the fitness fairy WANTS you to drink those vodka martinis. Anything so nobody expects ME to drink them.

    Meredith: I wish I could remember where I got it, because I'd totally tell you. :D

    ReplyDelete

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